Writer's block? Maybe not...

I have a hard time blogging. Fact. I've written about it before but I need to write about it some more. I find it really really challenging. And not because of the popular 'language reasons'. I actually find it easier to write a lot of text in English than in Croatian because English has all of these expressions and words Croatian is dramatically lacking. My problem is inspiration and creativity. When I was a kid everybody was stunned by my creativity and my ability to create things to play with and my parents were happy it kept me occupied for hours on end. I used to be this innovative little person with a million ideas on my mind, but I somehow lost it. Almost completely. Over the years I became an entirely different person to what I seemed to be growing up. Not completely in a bad way, I am in no way unrecognizable, but parts of me were obviously just a part of my childhood. One of those being my creativity and imagination. I could contemplate about the reasons for quite some time, but I won't get into it since I don't feel like this is the place for that. And this is where it affects the blogging. The SUK blogging is mandatory, but the topics aren't. Which gives me such a hard time. I could literally write 20 posts monthly if I was given exact topics to cover. This kind of 'freedom' scares me and pulls me backwards in more ways than one. Yes, surely it is none of anyone's business whether I have a knack for writing or not, but it depresses me that I leave an impression of an uninterested, lazy person when I have another point of view. I never ever felt a desire to write a blog, not even back in the day in high school when blogs were a big thing. The reason being the fact that I DO NOT KNOW what to write about. I have absolutely NO desire to share my deepest personal thoughts on the internet, nor do I think anyone is interested in those. I am aware of the fact that no one actually reads my blog except the teachers, which saddens me some more. I can not imagine this blog being interesting for you (teachers) if I don't find it interesting myself. So when I go ahead and try to write a post I can not for the life of me choose a topic to write about. Myself? No. My family/friends? No. My studies? No. My detailed opinion on xyz? No. Then I am left with general topics which I can not make interesting for the reader/s (teacher/s) nor do I find particularly riveting myself. Am I making sense right now? I do not wish to make excuses for myself nor do I look for pity, I just consider blogging an elective activity which I would never elect voluntarily. I am not a writer. I don't enjoy it as a hobby. Don't get me wrong, I don't find writing difficult in general, it is just the topics that bother me. While some people live for the sentence 'write about anything' coming from their teacher I would prefer it if they would say 'write about the weather/Schlossberg/Stadtpark/dog neutering/memory foam mattresses'. None of which particularly excites me, but I would rather research those topics and write a paragraph or two than ramble on and on about my life and opinions. I am not the kind of person to appreciate being given too much freedom but rather the kind that works better on a tighter schedule. Am I just coming across as weird? Hopefully not, that was not my plan. All in all, I feel very weird and misunderstood and I pray (figuratively) the blogging will stop in SUK3. Or at least change in form….